Will you?

I don't know about you, but I've been experiencing times where I get up in the morning and stare blankly at my surroundings thinking, 'why am I here?'

It's the feeling of isolation or more lack of feelings, in general, that's causing a personal concern. I think to myself, is the care and concern I'm giving with all my heart and being reciprocated by the same people I love? Does anyone. Anyone at all, care for me? You say you do, you say you're family, you say you're my friend but how are you showing it?

A selfish thought/feeling/emotion. I know. But I can't help but think and feel a certain way.

The big question is. Who will go the extra mile for me if I'm in need? Would you choose to spend time with me? Listen to my heart's worries? Put aside your busyness for me?

Think to the everyday human being, asking such questions would be unforgivably unfair.

Then I ask myself. Is it selfishly unfair? Can I make such requests to God? And I realize. Wait a minute. He already knows me. He knows my needs. He knows how I feel. He never needed me to voice them out.

But hang on... I can't see God. So does He really know me? Despite all that, there's a part of me that feels at peace. There's the knowing that despite my insecure lonely feelings, everything IS going to be ok. Why? Because He is here. Ever present. Ever living. Here. For me.

Thank you Jesus. Though I may have doubts but keep me reminded and assured, your purpose for my life.

^{Psalm 139: 1-18
1} O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, ^a]">[a] you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to ^b]">[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.