By the end of 2011...

We've all got our lists of 'What I want to do/achieve/have' etc. by the end of the year. I must confess that I have never followed through with any of my lists. Maybe accomplishing one or two items but never the full list. This year shall be different! That's what I tell myself all the time. 

So the question is... when will the year truly be different? I managed to do something last night that I never thought I would have done in a million years. (and it was on my to-do list) 

I bought one ticket, to watch One Day, by myself. It definitely took me out of my comfort zone & insecurity, considering that it's a romantic drama deserving to be seen in pairs.

At the beginning (which was around 3pm), I struggled. I so wanted to watch it, but didn't have anyone to watch it with. One Day was playing at 5pm. Should I? Shouldn't I? $10.50 a ticket?! Maybe I should watch it on the weekday where there's fewer people... But I don't have time! Who's free to watch with me? Alone? Really??? Ok. Alone....??

445pm: I knew I had to make a decision in time for the 715pm show. 

530pm: I was getting ready. Just in case I decided to meet friends instead. 

615pm: I was out the door. Heart racing. 

645pm: Stood in the line at the cinema, waiting for my turn to purchase one ticket for One Day. My turn came & there was no turning back. "One ticket for One Day at 7:15pm, please."

No questions asked, the nice lady gave me my ticket.

Chose the corner back seat, making a mental note that I should be there early enough to not be seen coming in.

I went in around 7pm. It felt awkward, just sitting there by yourself while couples streamed in. But this was it.

By the time the show ended, I was liberated. I bought myself a Grande GTL & walked back home. Just me, my GTL & my music.

Watch a movie alone - Checked.

Ok, why the sudden spontaneity? It wasn't just the list, but an article I had chanced upon about traveling solo. The lady wrote,

What I learned was that my fears of dining out and going to the movies alone were much worse than actually sitting in a restaurant or darkened movie theater and watching a movie.  No one is judging you or wondering why you are alone. All that self-consciousness comes only from you. As you may have experienced in other things you’ve tried for the first time, the first time is always the most difficult.  After that, it only gets easier. - 7 Things you learn about yourself

I guess it was a personal challenge. A dire need to break out of my self-consciousness, to test my belief that 'I'm not lonely. I'm just alone.' The first time is always the most difficult. After that, it only gets easier.

‘Live each day as if it’s your last’, that’s the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to simply try to be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion and your electric typewriter and work hard at…something. Change lives through art maybe. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance. –Emma Morley, One Day