I know...

it's been a long while since I've kept people updated. Hope you haven't given up checking on me here because of this though.. haha!

First things first, I've started working already. Yup got a Programme Executive position with Touch Character Development (TCD) under Touch Community Services. Praise God! It's officially 2 weeks now that I've been with Touch and I've never felt so at home! I just want to thank God for giving me patience and for making the whole transition wonderful. The world is so big, yet so small. My old church missionary is also working with Touch, sharing the same office but different department! Plus my old church youth mate, Hui Min's free-lancing with TCD too! So I practically see her quite often now haha!

God is great! Working with the children, especially the 'At risk' children have made me see life in perspective. God said in Isaiah 61,

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor".

These children have so much life ahead of them. Yet, they suffer in silence, with outward expressions of rebellion. The longing to be loved, the longing to be comforted, the longing to find meaning and purpose.

It's difficult for me at the end of each day. I mean, I do smile at their moments of wit, innocence and joy but to know that I'll be going home to a family and they may not, is difficult to reconcile. I'm still learning to channel this feeling towards giving the energy to reach out to them. It's tiring, physically. But just to hear them say, "Thank you Aunty Sarah! This programme is so fun! We want to see you again! Come back ok?" just turns the physical pain into joy and new found strength.

Ok Aunty because TCD wants to standardize formalities. So everyone who coaches or assists, no matter their age, are to be called Uncle or Aunty.

I've also been helping out with St Paul's youth in worship. Committed myself to go alternate weeks as well as train up a girl for keyboards. It's great to be able to serve in worship again after so long. I miss it. Reminds me a lot of FCC days in the training band and all.

Gosh, I've got so much on my mind. Yesterday night, after I came back from St Paul's, my mum wasn't in her happy moods. It started from when I left till when I came back. I honestly didn't know why this was happening. I mean, alright, it seems like I'm trying to bite on more than I can chew by committing to Trinity and St Paul's, as well as the commitment to work. I admit that I'm physically tired, but my spirit's alive.

The question on my mum's mind was, "which church are you going to become a member with?" As much as this question is of least importance to the majority, it meant a whole lot to my mum. She wanted me to be with her, with family, at YCK chapel while I wanted to be a member with Trinity. So ya, last night's conversation was somewhat heated, though I think God has changed my attitude towards her (i.e. instead of the cold shoulder, I took it very positively). I was so willing to obey and say alright you can just sign me up for membership at YCK, I'll visit Trinity but I still have to serve at St Paul's.

Today, at YCK (oh if you don't know, I attend YCK chapel on sundays with my parents. So literally I'm in a church thurs, fri, sat and sun) my heart was heavy. So heavy till I couldn't sing the worship songs, couldn't stop crying. Inside I was asking Jesus, "Lord, have I done something wrong? I've listened to Your Word, following the path You've laid before me. I give You my all, my joy, in serving You with the children, with the worship ministry, with the fellowship in cell and Trinity. My spirit says all is good but why do I still face difficult objections from my own blood, mama, that seems like she wants to close every door You've opened?"

Think I cried for a good 3 quarters of the service. Came out of service feeling lighter, somewhat accepting to submit to my mum's wishes. Thinking about how I felt after that now, I think God healed many wounds within. Wounds and burdens I never thought I'd carry. In fact, although, humanly I was really sad, but was content, comforted. Anyway, as down as the recap of the days sound, God did something really awesome for me. He changed my mum's heart. She talked with me in the car just now and said that as much as she wanted me to be with her in the same church, she cannot stop God from doing a good work in me where I've been led. She also mentioned there wasn't a verse in the bible that said the family should worship together in the same church so ya... haha! But thank you Lord, for hearing the cries of my heart, for comforting me, giving me the oil of gladness and a garment of praise! Amen!